Self-Care and Coping Skills: Understanding the Difference

Created by: Michelle Luszczewski LCSW, LCADC on

I hear from friends, clients, and on social media, “People keep talking about self-care, but massages and pedicures don’t fix my stress.” You are correct. This is especially true if, when you think of self-care, those are the only things that come to mind. Coping skills and self-care are different. What works for one person may not work for another.

Coping Skills

When a therapist talks about coping skills, we are referring to strategies you use in the moment when you are experiencing an intense emotion or when you begin to notice symptoms that lead up to an intense emotional experience. These strategies aim to lower the intensity of emotions or prevent emotions from reaching an intense level. Coping skills help to manage emotions. When our feelings are at an intense level, it is difficult for us to make logical decisions and think through what is best for us in a situation.

Healthy Coping Skills

Unhealthy Coping Skills

These lists are examples and not an exhaustive list of healthy or unhealthy coping skills.

Coping skills help to reduce the intensity of emotions so we can reflect on why a situation, conversation, etc., triggered an intense emotion and how we can handle it better in the future.

Self-Care

When a therapist talks about self-care, we are referring to activities you engage in that help you recharge and maintain balance in your life. Simply put, these are ways you care for yourself. A lot of the time, we are consumed with helping others take care of themselves that we forget to take care of ourselves. So, what activities can we engage in to support our self-care?

We engage in self-care to avoid burnout, stress, anger, and other negative emotions. If you don’t maintain a healthy sleep routine and get enough sleep, you are not caring for yourself. Most likely, you will find it difficult to complete a full day at work, manage a child’s routine, or take care of an elderly parent, etc., because lack of sleep typically causes people to have a shorter fuse, making them less patient with others.

It’s important to note that if you are in the position of being a role model, you should help children understand their emotions, learn how to cope with them, and identify self-care routines. It is okay for children to see adults experience emotions, and it is even more important that they see a healthy way to cope with those emotions. Every feeling is useful and helps us in different ways. There are no bad emotions. Emotions can become dangerous when they become too intense, which is why healthy coping skills are imperative.

Want to better understand coping skills, self-care and emotions? Schedule an appointment with Michelle by calling (702) 527-8362 or by emailing evokeinsighttherapy@gmail.com